Do I have to grow up?

Is it weird that I find it overwhelming to be a sophomore in high school, and already have to plan out your life during and after college? Because that's how I feel; when I was younger I thought I knew what would happen and that everything would fall into place and work out. I thought that I wouldn't face any ordeal or crucible that would distract me from my goals. When I was 5 I knew I wanted to be an artist. It was a dream I still have but one that I probably won't reach, in the sense that I won't major in it and go to art school.

Class recommendations, PSATs, SATs, it all makes me think about my future and how mind-boggling it is to decide a major, find a college, and plan a career path. I wish I could be like Peter Pan and not grow up sometimes, as silly as it seems. My email is spammed with a plethora of emails from colleges/universities due to me checking the Student Search Service box on my PSAT. I had to create a new email folder dedicated to "College Spam". It's nice to know that my acheivements thus far have caused schools to consider me as a student, even being a sophomore, but it makes me think how little time I have to do just that, THINK. (But I was excited to see Columbia in NY send me an email, since they're one of my top choices. I almost fell out of my chair.) To think about what I want to do for my future. Being an artist or a fashion designer really depend on who you meet and know, more practical intelligence than anything. Astrophysics, although it does take 13 years to earn a Ph.D, it will land me a job and stability, and it's something I take a deep interest in.

I guess what I'm getting at is that I wish I didn't have to think about my future so early into my life, that I didn't have to worry about college and majors and degrees and jobs. I miss the days where all I had to worry about was whether or not I had fruit snacks in my lunchbox and a pink crayon to color stuff with.